*fulfils Exercise 13
“Caution Falling People” the sign mocked. Great as if I wasn’t nervous enough. Although I’d been joking about my pending bungy jump on the ride to the AJ Hackett Bungy Tower in Cairns (and, in fact, over the entire spring break trip) now that we were actually here it was starting to hit me...and I was nervous. Was I really about to jump from 50 meters (164 feet for my fellow Americans) with only a bungy cord attached to my ankles?
I’d told everyone back home I was going to do it but considering how well they know my fear of heights (I literally can’t get too close to the edge of a balcony without freaking out) I’m not sure anyone believed me. Still it was something I wanted to cross off my own personal bucket list and I wasn’t going to let my fear stop me. After all, I still had to fulfil my side of the (Titanic style) “I jump you jump” bargain I’d made with my roommate in New Zealand before we’d left the states. More than any of that though, I wanted to prove to myself that despite my fear I could do this and it wasn’t going to be able to stop me (and okay I wanted to be able to answer the all time favourite parent question: “If all your friends jumped off a bridge would you?” with actually I have).
So when we walked up to the counter to get our allocated jump times I tried to squash my nerves. Still I couldn’t help but be nervous. Would it be better to go right away or to wait and go after I’d seen a couple of my new friends take the jump? The choice wasn’t up to me and as soon as I got my time card I glanced down at the time. 5:15 PM. I had half an hour of waiting before it was my turn to head up to the platform.
Watching from the bottom, taking videos for my friends it didn’t seem so bad. Okay, I can do this I thought. No problem. Even Lorna, the girl on the trip with a worse fear of heights than me, had come down proclaiming that jumping was the worst part and after that it was awesome. She said she would have regretted no doing it and so my final decision was made. If Lorna could do it. I could do it.
I was standing at the bottom taking a video for one of the girls in the group, when my friend Fraser tapped me on the shoulder. We were up. Taking a deep breath and removing my sneakers (everyone I’d seen was jumping barefoot) we grabbed the two others in our time slot and started for the stairs. With Martin in the lead, Katherine and I started walking up the rickety wooden stairs. Determined not to look over the railing but not wanting to miss a step Katherine and I kept our eyes firmly on our feet as we slowly trudged upwards. The stairs kept leading us higher and higher. Twice I asked Katherine if were at the top yet and each time the answer was no.
“Shut up, Martin” Katherine and I shouted back. We were stressed enough without the added pressure he was putting on us to rush.
“Its okay. You’ve got it. We’ll be fine,” came Fraser’s voice from behind us. It was the motivation we needed to keep going.
When we finally joined some of the others at the top of the platform the real waiting game began. Apparently the time on your card wasn’t actually your jump time. This only stressed me out more. I had to stay up here and wait? On this rickety tower that seemed to be swaying with the breeze and light rain? Great. At least, I wasn’t the only one freaking out. A handful of other girls from our trip gripped the railing with white knuckles focusing on breathing steadily in and out while trading words of encouragement. Needing the support from friends, Katherine and I quickly joined them. Now that we were up here none of us particularly wanted to bungy jump but more than that we didn’t want to be that person who walks back down the stairs. That meant there was only way we were getting off this platform...attached to a bungy cord.
I couldn’t bring myself to watch as person after person disappeared over the edge, the thinning crowd signalling that my turn was drawing ever closer. My heart leaped into my throat and I could feel it beating like a drum. My legs and arms felt like they had turned to jelly but holding onto the railing I managed to keep my balance. More people disappeared including Fraser, Martin, and Katherine. My turn couldn’t be far away now. I took a few deep breaths focusing only on breathing in an attempt to steady my nerves.
Then it happened. The men working the bungy jump called my name and I stepped forward to collect my harness. Slipping it on (and ensuring that the straps were as tight as I could possibly make them) I stepped through the gate and slid onto the box where they tie your ankles together with a black towel and the bungy cord my hand still firmly grasping the railing. The man tying my feet together told me I looked nervous and I’ll admit that’s where I lost it. I was beyond freaking out as my eyes filled with unbidden tears that were quickly wiped away. I was doing this.
After some encouragement from the man who tied my ankles I stood up determined to jump. Despite my resolve, the fear was a glue that wouldn’t release my hand from the railing. I had to be told twice to let go but I did. My bare feet edged their way closer to the edge of the platform until they felt my toes curl over the wooden edge gaining confidence with the knowledge that someone was holding onto my harness. The man said they would count me down and I could go on one...but it didn’t matter anymore. For some reason I was a lot calmer the second my feet hit the edge of the platform than I had been standing there waiting.
I let myself fall forward the second I heard the word “one” shouted in my ear and felt the dreaded free-fall sensation as my body hurdled toward the Earth but it wasn’t that bad. I don’t remember much about the actual jump and I can’t tell you much about what it looked like falling to the Earth because of course my eyes were closed but I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt (the towels suffocate your ankles too much). I remember being relieved when the raft brought me back to solid ground but you know what? I haven’t completely written off bungy jumping and I may even do it again one day because Lorna was right. Jumping is the worst and after that you just enjoy the ride.
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